Dynamics of Dating 1010

Let me begin with an analogy. Consider fishing. Now consider how much it resembles dating. And not only in the traditional "there are more fish in the sea" way. Allow me to explain. Number one: I don't particularly enjoy either one. Both consume a considerable amount of time, planning, and luck in order to ensure any kind of success. Number two: Fish look better in water. So do women. Number three: Fish don't really like their lips getting caught on hooks. Neither do women. Number four: I don't particularly enjoy spending much time on the process of fishing or dating, but I thoroughly enjoy the results of both. Number five: Both are cold blooded. Number six: Mermaids are hot.
I'm writing this because all the single people out there obviously need some help in this area, and fortunately for them I am here to oblige. First of all, we must remember that there are two kinds of people in this world. There are men, and there are women. One knows what he wants. The other acts as if she does. For the world to run properly, both kinds of people must learn to coexist and cooperate in relative harmony.
Unfortunately, it has long been the lot of men such as myself to provide this harmony. Women don't know what they want. They don't, and they never will. In some inconsequential circumstances she will make this glaringly obvious by verbally expressing her indecisiveness. Pizza or burgers? She doesn't know, and tells you. Bowling or ice skating? She doesn't care, and tells you. Shoes or sandals? Let the weather decide, she says. Batman or Superman? Whichever. Who really cares about that, though? And so you see that when it doesn't matter, she will freely admit that she doesn't know what she wants. In all other situations she will not admit it. The female will not only not admit it; she will go to extraordinary lengths in order to convince you otherwise. It's true, just give it a try and see for yourself. First think of a question that you've been wanting to ask but haven't had the balls to. That's the question. Now ask it. Did you receive a question as an answer? Did you receive a string of words which somehow reassures you of something that you're supposed to think? Did you receive some kind of reply that led you to forget about your question? Or perhaps some combination of the above? Of course you did, because you're fishing without the proper knowledge and equipment.
Now rewind and redo, but before you redo, try not to heed anything that she says. Go ahead and listen, but don't let yourself be fooled. Remember that women do not know what they want, and she, hopefully, is still one of them. There are no exceptions. Thus, everything she says will essentially be meaningless gibberish. Just like when fish talk. You must TELL her what she wants. One of the two of you had better know what they want, so make it you. Decide what that is and then tell her. This gives her a simple choice: to want what you want or to decline. Either way your chances are much better than trying to interpret a bunch of meaningless estrogen-induced words.
Always assume nothing. Never take anything for granted. Don't plan too far ahead. Throw all preconceived notions out the door. Nothing in dating is a constant. Everything is a variable. Sounds like fishing, doesn't it?
Fish know what they want: water and shiny things. You now know what women want: shiny things and you.