Standing around in my underwear

At once I snap awake. The same guy is sitting on the couch across from me, still lackadaisically reading his textbook while he spends the majority of his time texting someone; hopefully a beautiful girl worth the time and distraction. I've probably been asleep for awhile, and look at my watch. 2:56. Less than four minutes until class. I've been asleep for over an hour! Jamming my phone back into my pocket and cramming my book back into my pack, I throw on my jacket too with a backpack clenched between my teeth. An exit, right here. Wow, why haven't I used this exit before, instead of walking all the way around to the east side?
I run through the door at full speed as a screech accosts my ears. A fire alarm? Both of my hands are still placed firmly on the door handle as I halt in sickening realization. This is an emergency exit. Six inches from my face, written boldly on the glass, are the words Emergency Exit Only: Alarm Will Sound. Well, they weren't kidding, were they? My heart sinks. Shit.
An eternity turning around, I see everyone around the library looking around confusedly and packing up their things. Bigger shit. I need to go to class. I'll be late if I stay. Looking back at my watch, 2:57. One minute awake so far. Bad things happen when I've been awake for fewer than five minutes. People in my corner of the library are already beginning to spot me, still awkwardly holding the emergency exit open with two hands. No one points, but more and more are looking.
A deep breath before the plunge. Holding my head up high, I release the door and wave, saying loudly, "Hi. Yeah, that was me. My bad, everyone."
Still, no one says anything to me. Not even a chuckle. Pointing toward the front desk, where crowds from the rest of the library are already heading, I put up both arms reassuringly in Moses-style and declare, "I'll go take care of it."
The walk of shame is briefly elongated. Is there some kind of fine for setting off the fire alarm unnecessarily? If so, I am so leaving them with a false name. Hi, my name is Brian Weller, I think with a smirk. The employees at the front desk are packing their things too when I get there. With authority I place both of my palms on the counter. They both give me their attention.
"Hi. Yeah, that fire alarm is my bad. Don't evacuate or call the fire department. I totally just tried walking through the emergency exit."
"Oh," the blond one replies, her face betraying obvious thoughts of laughter.
"So, yeah, just shut that sucker off."
"Okay, we'll get on that."
"All right, well, bye."
"Bye."
I turn around and stride out the door quickly as a few bespectacled bookworms race by. No backward glances for me. I did what I had to do and I didn't even have to give them a name, and I'd rather keep it that way.