Lady in the Lovers' Room

We arrived this afternoon. Dan and I checked out the guys' room, but it already looked overcrowded. The womens' room was of course out of the question and just as crowded. I had already paid for this place and it was already too late to consider heading back down to the city. Today's trip from Interlaken to Gimmelwald had consumed the greater part of my day.
Lying in bed I review the events that led me here to the lovers' room. Dan is lying silently next to me, but I doubt that he has managed to fall asleep already. After checking in this afternoon we were directed to the guys' room. There was hardly enough room for our bags let alone for ourselves. Standing among so many travelers' baggage I had walked to the window and looked out. It was beautiful outside. More beautiful than any place I've ever seen. The Swiss Alps stretched out before me covered in pastures of blossoming flowers and glacial scars. Dan crosses the room and stands beside me. I point into the distance and say, "That's the Matterhorn over there," while referencing the map that I found on the train today.
Dan asks me how I'm so sure.
"Look, on the backside of the map there's a drawing of the mountains as seen here from Gimmelwald. That one is obviously the Matterhorn."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. What are we going to do tomorrow?"
"Do we really need anything to do? Look at this place; it's like we're in a movie."
"Yeah, okay," Dan mutters.
I turn my head toward him. He obviously has no idea what we should do, so I tell him that I've been thinking about hiking to the top of this mountain tomorrow.
"Really?" he says incredulously, "but the gondola ride all the way to the top is pretty expensive."
"No, dude, I want to hike it. We're already so far up that I'm sure we can handle it."
"Ha, I wonder what the girls will think of that idea."
Out of frustration I went back to the mistress of the hostel and inquired as to where we were supposed to sleep. She plainly told me that in the event of an overflow we could just sleep in the couples' room. "The beds are better in there anyway," she tells me after I roll my eyes. Dan and I walk down the hall past the stairway and find the door to our room on the right. On the wooden door a pink heart has been lovingly painted around the words "Lovers' Room." I sigh, push the door open, and walk in. In the corner a man whispers something to his girlfriend as she changes behind the blanket he's holding up. I ignore them completely for her sake and scan the room. I've never seen anything quite like this before; there are three bunks, but they're huge. Queen-sized, in fact. The three bottom queen-sized beds all appear to be taken while two of the upper three are free. Dan and I toss our bags onto a bed when someone shakes me awake and back into the present.
"Steve? Is that you, Steve?"
"What...?"
"Are you Steve?" she asks me again. I can smell the stench of beer on her breath. I lean forward on my elbows to give her my full attention and ask her again what she wants.
"Are you Steve?" I'm getting a better look at her now. She's bikini-clad, blonde, definitely American, gorgeous, still drenched from the hot tub, and very drunk. I consider telling her that I am indeed Steve, but the rational part of my mind encourages me to tell the truth. "No, I'm not Steve."
"What? You're Steve..?" she asks again while giggling like a grade schooler.
I'm tempted again, but the thought of getting out of bed at this hour causes me to firmly state a second time that I am certainly not Steve.
I watch her as she skips out the door. I pull the flashlight out from under my pillow and tuck it into my backpack. The guy in the bottom bunk is snoring again.